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2. You talked to an ex today, correct? Nope.
3. Have you taken someones virginity? Mm... No.
4. Is trust a big issue for you? Trust you once, ya fuck that up and there will never be trust again.
5. Did you hang out with the person you like recently? Duh, live with him.
6. What are you excited for? Erm. My wedding.
7. What happened tonight? ...it's 3: 39pm
8. Do you think it’s disgusting when girls get really wasted? Lol, have you seen my friends. ;)
9. Is confidence cute? Adorable.
10. What is the last beverage you had? Mt. Dew
11. How many people of the opposite sex do you fully trust? A few. 3, I think.
12. Do you own a pair of skinny jeans? One pair.
13. What are you gonna do Saturday night? Maybe a going away party.
14. What are you going to spend money on next? Bills, lol! Maybe a new phone case.
15. Are you going out with the last person you kissed? I'm marrying him.
16. Do you think you’ll change in the next 3 months? My wardrobe. ;)
17. Who do you feel most comfortable talking to about anything? Dani, Dustin, Tyler, Heidi...
18. The last time you felt broken? A few weeks ago, when gramma died.
19. Have you had sex today? Not yet. ;)
20. Are you starting to realize anything? Er, no.
21. Are you in a good mood? Dec.
22. Would you ever want to swim with sharks? Yuh!
23. Are your eyes the same color as your dad’s? No.
24. What do you want right this second? Money.
25. What would you say if the person you love/like kissed another girl/boy? Kick his ass.
26. Is your current hair color your natural hair color? No.
27. Would you be able to date someone who doesn’t make you laugh? No.
28. What was the last thing that made you laugh? Lol, tumblr.
29. Do you really, truly miss someone right now? Mhm.
30. Does everyone deserve a second chance? Not everyone.
31. Honestly, do you hate the last boy you were talking to? He irritates me.
32. Does the person you have feelings for right now, know you do? Yup.
33. Are you one of those people who never drinks soda? Nope.
34. Listening to? Shitty music at work.
35. Do you ever write in pencil anymore? Nah.
36. Do you know where the last person you kissed is? Work.
37. Do you believe in love at first sight? No, lust.
38. Who did you last call? Ma.
39. Who was the last person you danced with? Er... Heidi?
40. Why did you kiss the last person you kissed? Because he's cute. ;)
41. When was the last time you ate a cupcake? Been awhile.
42. Did you hug/kiss one of your parents today? Nope, yesterday.
43. Ever embarrass yourself in front of a crush? Yuh, lul.
44. Do you tan in the nude? Yup.
45. If you could, would you take back your last kiss? No.
46. Did you talk to someone until you fell asleep last night? Yup, a lo of times.
47. Who was the last person to call you? ....idk.
48. Do you sing in the shower? Hell yah.
49. Do you dance in the car? Hell yah.
50. Ever used a bow and arrow? No.
51. Last time you got a portrait taken by a photographer? October.
52. Do you think musicals are cheesy? Some.
53. Is Christmas stressful? Nah.
54. Ever eat a pierogi? ..no.
55. Favorite type of fruit pie? None.
56. Occupations you wanted to be when you were a kid? Batman.
57. Do you believe in ghosts? Maybe. My door likes to open itself, same with the attic door.
58. Ever have a Deja-vu feeling? Mhm.
59. Take a vitamin daily? Nah.
60. Wear slippers? Yuh.
61. Wear a bath robe? Yuh.
62. What do you wear to bed? Shorts and tee.
63. First concert? Garth Books. : )
64. Wal-Mart, Target or Kmart? Target
65. Nike or Adidas? ....Nike.
66. Cheetos Or Fritos? Cheetos
67. Peanuts or Sunflower seeds? Both.
68. Favorite Taylor Swift song? Eyes open.
69. Ever take dance lessons? Nah.
70. Is there a profession you picture your future spouse doing? Air Force.
71. Can you curl your tongue? Yup
72. Ever won a spelling bee? Never been in one.
73. Have you ever cried because you were so happy? Mhm.
74. What is your favorite book? Hunger Games.
75. Do you study better with or without music? With.
76. Regularly burn incense? I wish.
77. Ever been in love? Am.
78. Who would you like to see in concert? Weezy.
79. What was the last concert you saw? I don't remember.
80. Hot tea or cold tea? Cold sweet tea.
81. Tea or coffee? Coffee.
82. Favorite type of cookie? Sugar.
83. Can you swim well? Dec.
84. Can you hold your breath without holding your nose? Yup.
85. Are you patient? Nope
86. DJ or band, at a wedding? Dj
87. Ever won a contest? Yup.
88. Ever have plastic surgery? Want.
89. Which are better black or green olives? Green.
90. Opinions on sex before marriage? Haha, hell yes. What if they're terrible?!
91. Best room for a fireplace? Bedroom.
92. Do you want to get married? October 27.
It’s gotten worse.
My grandma is no longer here. Her body is, and her body is very much so alive. However, it’s ridden with cancer.
I honestly can’t even find the words. I’m dreading the phone call of news that she has passed, yet I know it’s coming and I’ve accepted it.
Of my 22 years of knowing my grandma, she has never once been hostile. She’ll complain about the things grandpa does, then say, “But I love him.” She’s very strong in her faith and very accepting of change - she was excited when she found out I was pregnant.
However, the cancer has taken over. She’s hostile, agitated, agressive… and honestly, I don’t want to see my grandma this way because this is not how I want to remember her.
She’s such an incredible lady. Even though she’s had arthritis since her 30s, she still raised 3 kids and treated her 4 grandkids and 1 great grandkid like gold. She makes the best homemade macaroni and cheese ever. And she’s amazing with crafts. I remember the weeks that I would spend at her house during the summer, to give my mom a break - who has been a single mom since I was 5 - and so my grandparents could see me since we lived 2 hours away. I wouldn’t trade those memories for anything. I learned so much and had so much fun.
I know she’ll be in Heaven soon, my own guardian angel. But I’m selfish and I don’t want her to leave.
It makes my heart heavy with grief knowing that cancer has stolen my grandmother. I’ll never be able to give her one last hug, one last kiss on the cheek. Because my grandma is no longer here, it’s the cancer that’s talking.
I’m angry, really. Honestly hostile to this disease. My greatest fear has always been losing my loved ones, and even though I’ve lost close friends over the years, I have always feared losing family. I’m very naive when it comes to the thought of loved ones dying. They’re just not going to. We’re all going to live happily (or as happy as we can be) and healthily on this Earth until one day, we decide to go to Heaven. If only that were real. Damn Disney an their fucking fairy tales.
I’m praying for peace. For my grandma, for my grandpa, for my family… This has really taken a toll on grandpa, and I’ve said since I found out grandma had cancer that he’ll die of Broken Heart Syndrome. Because hell, if I had been married to someone for 50+ years and they were gone a month after they were diagnosed with cancer, I’d be broken hearted, too. Too broken hearted to get out of bed and take care of myself.
He broke down and cried the other day. Mom asked him if he wanted grandma to stay at home and pass peacefully in her own home, or if he thought it’d be best for her to be hospitalized. He told my mom that he kept telling himself it just wasn’t real, that we weren’t losing her.
Grandma was hospitalized yesterday evening. During the day, she sleeps and when she talks, she’s very quiet and hard to understand. But at night, the cancer takes over and she’s a completely different person. She’s agitated and hostile, as I said before. Hell, she spit out her medicine at my aunt the other day.
Apparently, when the nurse was taking her to the hospital, she said, “Pull over, I need to smoke!” That’s how you know it’s not my grandma anymore. She’s never smoked, the smell alone makes her sick (along with most perfumes and lotions).
She’s not here anymore, and it breaks my heart. I’m so happy she was able to meet Ella. My mom told her that she’ll be Ella’s guardian angel soon and grandma said, “Well, I don’t know if I can keep up with her!”
I miss you, Grandma. I love you more than anything and I thank you for everything you have done for my mom and I through out the years. Your heart really is made of gold and you’re such a strong, courageous woman.
I know you’ll enjoy your new body in Heaven.♥
